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hay guys im almost done cleaning out this account and in one week i will be perminatly moved in and settled to my new account so this is Shego4893's last week as an active account
Hello! I haven't visited you in a while... How about a weekend joke?
"After a troublesome expedition into the chinese jungle, one of the men of the mission gets lost. Three weeks have passed and his only food has been some wild fruits and plants that he finds. Now, he is weak, tired and he has been sleeping inside caves or under trees.
One afternoon, he finds an old house between the trees, almost entirely covered by a huge vine. It's the only building in the area and the smoke that is coming out from the chimney indicates that the owner of the house is at home.
Without hesitation, he comes close to the house and knocks on the door. A very old chinese man, with a beard that almost touches the floor, comes out and greets him. Then, this old man asks the traveler: "What do you want?"
The traveler responded: "I have been lost for almost three weeks. I haven't been able to sleep or eat since then. I would thank you, eternally, if you could give me some food and a bed, only for tonight."
The chinese elder thinks for a moment and then says: "I will offer you food and I will let you sleep in my house, but with a condition: DO NOT TOUCH MY GRANDAUGHTER"
The traveler was terribly exhausted and hungry, and accepted: "I promise that I won't cause any trouble to you. Tomorrow by the early morning I will leave"
"Very well, but if I ever discover that you didn't keep your promise I will apply you the three worst Chinese tortures that the world has ever seen!"
"Don't worry, you have my word of honor" said the man as he entered the house. Besides, he was wondering what kind of woman could live with such a cranky old man in the middle of the jungle?
That night, after taking a bath, the traveler went downstairs for dinner. It was there when he saw her. The grandaughter of the chinese old man was an incredibly beautiful young woman, gorgeous just like a pearl. He couldn't remove his gaze from her, neither she could from him.
After dinner and when everybody was in their respective bedrooms, the traveler came out from his bedroom and went towards the one of the grandaughter. He spent almost all the night with her, trying to remain as silent as he could. After finishing, he returned to his room, thinking: "man, after this heavenly experience, I'm willing to endure ANY chinese torture"
The next morning, he felt a terrible weight resting on his chest, and he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he discovered a huge rock on top of him. On one of the sides of the rock, an inscription could be read: "Chinese Torture 1: A 70 kilogram rock on your chest"
"What a silly and innocent torture!" he thought as he removed the rock and threw it over the open window. Just before the rock abandoned his fingers, he could see another inscription: "Chinese Torture 2: The rock is tied to your left testicle"
The rock was already falling and the rope was starting to stretch... Desperate, the man decided to jump after the rock as he thought: "From this height, I will certainly break one of my legs, but I won't lose my nut"
He jumped and he was already in the air and falling, well past the window when he turned around to see that in the wall was a third inscription: "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle, tied to one of the legs of the bed"
-- "If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
SHEGO"S LAST WEEK
Neutral
so this is Shego4893's last week as an active account
--
"After a troublesome expedition into the chinese jungle, one of the men of the mission gets lost. Three weeks have passed and his only food has been some wild fruits and plants that he finds. Now, he is weak, tired and he has been sleeping inside caves or under trees.
One afternoon, he finds an old house between the trees, almost entirely covered by a huge vine. It's the only building in the area and the smoke that is coming out from the chimney indicates that the owner of the house is at home.
Without hesitation, he comes close to the house and knocks on the door. A very old chinese man, with a beard that almost touches the floor, comes out and greets him. Then, this old man asks the traveler: "What do you want?"
The traveler responded: "I have been lost for almost three weeks. I haven't been able to sleep or eat since then. I would thank you, eternally, if you could give me some food and a bed, only for tonight."
The chinese elder thinks for a moment and then says: "I will offer you food and I will let you sleep in my house, but with a condition: DO NOT TOUCH MY GRANDAUGHTER"
The traveler was terribly exhausted and hungry, and accepted: "I promise that I won't cause any trouble to you. Tomorrow by the early morning I will leave"
"Very well, but if I ever discover that you didn't keep your promise I will apply you the three worst Chinese tortures that the world has ever seen!"
"Don't worry, you have my word of honor" said the man as he entered the house. Besides, he was wondering what kind of woman could live with such a cranky old man in the middle of the jungle?
That night, after taking a bath, the traveler went downstairs for dinner. It was there when he saw her. The grandaughter of the chinese old man was an incredibly beautiful young woman, gorgeous just like a pearl. He couldn't remove his gaze from her, neither she could from him.
After dinner and when everybody was in their respective bedrooms, the traveler came out from his bedroom and went towards the one of the grandaughter. He spent almost all the night with her, trying to remain as silent as he could. After finishing, he returned to his room, thinking: "man, after this heavenly experience, I'm willing to endure ANY chinese torture"
The next morning, he felt a terrible weight resting on his chest, and he woke up. When he opened his eyes, he discovered a huge rock on top of him. On one of the sides of the rock, an inscription could be read: "Chinese Torture 1: A 70 kilogram rock on your chest"
"What a silly and innocent torture!" he thought as he removed the rock and threw it over the open window.
Just before the rock abandoned his fingers, he could see another inscription: "Chinese Torture 2: The rock is tied to your left testicle"
The rock was already falling and the rope was starting to stretch... Desperate, the man decided to jump after the rock as he thought: "From this height, I will certainly break one of my legs, but I won't lose my nut"
He jumped and he was already in the air and falling, well past the window when he turned around to see that in the wall was a third inscription: "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle, tied to one of the legs of the bed"
--
"If mankind does not put an end to war, war will put an end to mankind" John F. Kennedy, Democrat
Send one to all your friends who you think
deserve a hug (which, hopefully includes the
person who sent it to you)!!
You might send it to your enemies as well!
It'll really make them stop and think!!!
If you don't receive this back, nobody likes you,
and they wish you'd stop bugging them!
If you receive this back 1 time, open up! Find
more friends, enemies, or enemies pretending to
be friends
If you receive this back 2 times, you're off to a
good start! (Unless you sent it to yourself!
That's cheating!)
If you receive this back 3 times, you're a good
friend.
If you receive this back 4 times, you're truly
loved as a friend!!
_____8888888888____________________
____888888888888888_________________
__888888822222228888________________
_888888222I2222288888_______________
888888222222222228888822228888______
888882222222222222288222222222888___
88888222222222LUV22222222222222288__
_8888822222222222222222222222222_88_
__88888222222222222222U22222222__888
___888822222222222222222222222___888
____8888222222222222222222222____888
_____8888222222222222222222_____888_
______8882222222222222222_____8888__
_______888822222222222______888888__
________8888882222______88888888____
_________888888_____888888888_______
__________88888888888888____________
___________888888888________________
____________888888__________________
_____________8888___________________
______________88____________________
______________8_____________________
______________1_____________________
_______________1____________________
________________1___________________
_________________1__________________
__________________1_________________
__________________1_________________
_________________1__________________
________________1___________________
_______________1____________________
______________1_____________________
______________1_____________________
_______________1____________________
________________1___________________
_________________1__________________
__________________1_________________
___________________1__________
YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED!
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and
paste this message on their userpage!)
RULES:
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on
their user page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging
right away
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!
1-3: you're a bad friend
4-6: you're an ok friend
7-9: you're a good friend
10-& Up: you're a great friend
--
"Time is considered the worst enemy of man"
Enter my chatroom [link]
My Gaia Online profile [link]
Send one to all your friends who you think
deserve a hug (which, hopefully includes the
person who sent it to you)!!
You might send it to your enemies as well!
It'll really make them stop and think!!!
If you don't receive this back, nobody likes you,
and they wish you'd stop bugging them!
If you receive this back 1 time, open up! Find
more friends, enemies, or enemies pretending to
be friends
If you receive this back 2 times, you're off to a
good start! (Unless you sent it to yourself!
That's cheating!)
If you receive this back 3 times, you're a good
friend.
If you receive this back 4 times, you're truly
loved as a friend!!
_____8888888888____________________
____888888888888888_________________
__888888822222228888________________
_888888222I2222288888_______________
888888222222222228888822228888______
888882222222222222288222222222888___
88888222222222LUV22222222222222288__
_8888822222222222222222222222222_88_
__88888222222222222222U22222222__888
___888822222222222222222222222___888
____8888222222222222222222222____888
_____8888222222222222222222_____888_
______8882222222222222222_____8888__
_______888822222222222______888888__
________8888882222______88888888____
_________888888_____888888888_______
__________88888888888888____________
___________888888888________________
____________888888__________________
_____________8888___________________
______________88____________________
______________8_____________________
______________1_____________________
_______________1____________________
________________1___________________
_________________1__________________
__________________1_________________
__________________1_________________
_________________1__________________
________________1___________________
_______________1____________________
______________1_____________________
______________1_____________________
_______________1____________________
________________1___________________
_________________1__________________
__________________1_________________
___________________1__________
YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED!
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and
paste this message on their userpage!)
RULES:
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on
their user page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging
right away
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!
1-3: you're a bad friend
4-6: you're an ok friend
7-9: you're a good friend
10-& Up: you're a great friend
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